For best results, pair with an espresso or a pint of Guinness. PRESS PLAY n’ ENJOY
When I think of sports and JOY, a few images come to mind.
At the top of the table residing in some corner of my brain is basketball superstar Steph Curry doing a shimmy after hitting an insane high arcing 3pt shot. Let’s go to the videotape:
Alongside are images burned into my mind of our 2 girls playing soccer and softball with friends on a wide open field. They’re running around post-game on a snack high being silly as they refuse to say goodbye to teammates in hopes of staying “just 2 more minutes!”
How do we explain JOY? Why does it matter?
JOY is experiencing the emotion of pleasure in the moment.
What’s not to like about that?
It’s being in the moment that makes joy special, yet also elusive. In an increasingly distracted world, not being present is unfortunately a sign of the times. However on those occasions when it all comes together, the feeling is exhilarating. Just you and this instance in time, etching memories in the corner of your mind (note to self: reuse for future anniversary card).
At a sporting event, you may share JOY with tens of thousands of your closest friends. Remember all those high fives with the fans in front and those in the row behind? Mini moments of JOY and community. Yeah, I miss them too right now.
On another occasion, you may experience JOY alone. It manifests in different ways. A feeling of reflection, gratitude, or even tears.
The science states we feel JOY in our bodies because of the release of dopamine and serotonin, two types of neurotransmitters in the brain. Both chemicals are heavily associated with happiness.
Back to 1st name Stephen, last name Curry.
One of the more memorable takes on Steph and JOY occurred in Chicago on Oct 29th, 2018. It was the night fellow splash brother Klay Thompson surpassed Curry’s previously held 3 pointers made in a single game record. The image below captures the moment Klay breaks the record!
Without context, you wouldn’t know who hit the shot! Remember, it's Klay night. However as an exemplary teammate, Curry exudes JOY with his arms raised because he is genuinely happy for Klay. In fact, Curry explicitly told him to go after his record at halftime of this very game.
That is what good teammates and good leaders do. They are supportive and take JOY in others' success.
As follows, good teammates make for good teams. This point is reinforced by a quote author James Clear shared in one of his recent 3-2-1 newsletters:
Poet Lucille Clifton on emphasizing joy over status:
"One should wish to celebrate more than one wishes to be celebrated."1
Another basketball superstar, Micheal Jordan, exhibited JOY at an early age as cited by his college roommate here:
From JOY to love to execution. Interesting fact, Jordan explicitly made time for this!
Both Curry and Jordan harness JOY into a savage drive to take it to their respective opponents. The list of elite athletes across all sports that draw on this foundation is wide ranging. Turns out, JOY can be an competitive advantage. Especially when its turned inward and manifests itself in love.
The great football legend Pele sums it up best.
[Success] is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do."
If you truly love the “work” and it gives you pleasure, you’ll prolong the moments while others stop. Conversely, if you don’t truly love what you’re doing and don’t find the JOY in it, it shows.
For me, JOY is something I seek to help fuel my days.
When I find it, it makes my now salt and pepper hairs stand throughout my body. This natural high, which through decades of practice I can replicate on my morning runs, allows me to glide smoothly across the trail beneath me.
Like a craft cocktail mixed at a late night gin bar in Barcelona (I recommend Dux), the endorphins bind to the receptors of the central nervous system releasing dopamine to create that euphoric feeling. The result - more bounce in your step and the motivation to keep going, keep trying. “Music is supposed to inspire.” Turn your headphones up.
Besides exercise - family, music, and giving back enable those neurotransmitters to light a fire. “Same same but different” as the saying goes in the streets of Thailand. We all have the capacity to experience JOY, but we all get there in different ways.
One form of giving back for me is coaching. I’ve coached either youth soccer (AYSO), or Girls Softball (MVLAGS), every year since 2014 when my eldest daughter turned 6 yrs old. How kids naturally exude JOY on the field is one of my favorite things. Being able to foster and promote that is magical.
In the Fall of 2020, it came together for a group of girls on the Softball diamond. We assembled my 8yr old’s classmates alongside girls in our community for practices (no competitive games allowed). Temp checks, masks, distancing, bring your own gloves and bat. The whole Covid drill. We made the best of it.
1st couple sessions, the girls were guarded given all the restrictions and months of isolation. Then, something interesting happened. Over the weeks that followed, parents shared the mood of their daughter was different on practice days and times leading up to it. The girls were having fun!
After months cooped up at home on virtual classes and an atypical Summer, they finally had something to look forward to. As a result, they were more engaged and excited to go about their days. Sounds familiar, right?
The science behind this agrees. Active bodies make for active minds. There is definitely a correlation. Thinking back to my own childhood, my grades were better and I was more focused during seasons of the year that coincided with me playing sports. Less time to procrastinate, more energy to fuel the brain. The perfect antidote to Parkinson’s Law of time management. Boom!
Our girls learned skills and improved over successive practices. We played mini games with split squads. But it was the simplicity of running around on an open, albeit neglected field that created JOY.
We played silly games post practice such as Statue, What time is it, Mr. Fox? and Monster (yours truly the protagonist in those last two). That becomes their bud more so than Softball on select days. We regularly extended our 90 mins together to 2 hrs. The girls lingered while parents connected. It felt normal. We created community. From therein surfaced JOY.
Our last practice lined up a couple days prior to Halloween. I coined it the “Softball Spooktacular!” We hosted a Parents vs. Kids game and it brought forward the competitive side in some of us. Everyone was encouraged to wear costumes. We stacked all 4 bases with buckets of treats that got progressively better the more you crossed your way around the diamond.
Postgame, we had a potluck picnic as the sun set and the dog owners came out for their evening walks. There is a ritual I have for every team I have ever coached. We wrap a bow on each season with speeches delivered about every player on the team (inspired by my own baseball coach in HS). I use the sandwich technique to keep it constructive, yet positive. They appreciate the words of encouragement and the parents seem to like it as well (good camera moments!).
The goal is simple. Motivate every girl to come back for another season. That is my success criteria. Believe it or not, there is a entire campaign around ensuring kids don’t retire early from sports.
As we wrapped up, one of the girls on the team got up and said a few nice words about the coaches. With reference to me, she said “I like coach Rohit because he likes to play around with us and never takes things too seriously!! He makes it FUN!.”
This describes my approach to a tee. I was glowing inside. She gets me : )
I’m never too serious, personally or professionally. I try to make most activities fun and extract the positive. If not for others, for myself. By no means a comparison, but Steph Curry and his pregame rituals are all about being loose and having fun. You could say, finding the JOY.
Think about your circles. Family-Friends-School-Work-Hobbies.
There is always a way to make room for JOY in a given day.
Ask yourself:
Where does joy live for me?
If it's not where I am today, how do I get there?
Am I noticing these precious moments? If not, why not?
At times, we have to give ourselves the space to take it in. It's not realistic to think every interaction will be joyful. But parts of your day or week should be.
Similar to “athletes, we’re only worried about the end game. We don’t notice the short, small victories.” By all means, take those small wins and soak them in.
If you think about the circles you are part of, whom do you enjoy spending time with? In the spirit of “create the things you wish existed,” what are you doing to promote joy?
We all have it within. At some point, we have experienced it. It's up to us to remove the obstacles and find it, again. When you see JOY, attach yourself to it. Like a Steph Curry 3 pointer followed by a spur of the moment dance number, embrace it. Go with it. Breathe it in. Some of it is bound to stick. And when it does, it can light a fire and help us be the best versions of ourselves.
Don’t wait…
Source: 1992 interview for Poets & Writers Magazine